In mid-December I decided to bite the bullet and interview a couple caregivers. The second person I called, Tom (name changed for privacy reasons,) seems to be the PERFECT fit and I am very lucky I was able to get in touch with him! Almost immediately after I met with Tom I was called by another caregiver in the area and he really pressured me to tell him how much I was going to pay for my MMJ. I am NOT going to say how much I am going to pay for my medicine! I was so turned off by this guy - I hope I am not proven wrong in my decision.
Right after I had Tom sign my caregiver form, I dropped it in the mail. I've been waiting for my check to clear and in the meantime I took a road trip to Phoenix to pick up my daughter and twin grandsons. When we saw them, Jan 5th, it was nearly two months after I last saw them. How they have grown! Nate took to me almost right away, Alex took a while. They come to me when they want a snuggle or are tired and it's so neat to have a baby fall asleep in my arms again.
The trip back was long but I've enjoyed having the boys here! They traveled very well!
After I got back home I looked to see if my check to the state for my MMJ card had cleared. It had! I've been sick with a bad cold or flu (not sure which) so I haven't been able to call Tom to get my first medicine. I'm still very hesitant but after today I think I need something. Really. I don't know what I'm going to do first - maybe make some cannibutter - but I need to try something. I still refuse to smoke it. I've had a really tough time getting to sleep lately and I've had much more pain and nausea. One night, while I was in Phoenix, I caught myself saying, "I'll bet some marijuana would really help right now!" It's quite scary to me, that kind of thinking. I truly hope I can find relief with medical marijuana.
Showing posts with label chronic pain treatment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chronic pain treatment. Show all posts
Monday, January 24, 2011
Friday, October 1, 2010
A step in an uncertain direction
A few months before the election where voters of Montana overwhelmingly legalized medical marijuana, I asked my primary physician, Dr.D, where he stood on the topic. He told me it wasn't necessary and there was a synthetic drug, Marinol, that did what marijuana could and was legal. I can't recall his exact words, but it left me thinking he would never approve marijuana for me in a medical capacity if it passed muster with the voters. He didn't even offer Marinol for me to try in my current treatment.
I don't have many secrets in my life and I am not ashamed to say I voted for the use of marijuana in a medical capacity. Having suffered through so many years with chronic pain and knowing how this pain has impacted my life, I wanted people in Montana (and the rest of the world) to have the relief brought by marijuana. Upon saying this please understand I have NEVER used illicit drugs. Never. I have been in the same room as someone smoking pot once, for about 30 seconds, and that is the extent of my personal experience with marijuana.
Last week I decided to ask another doctor for his opinion and possibly get him to sign the physician's statement to obtain my medicinal marijuana card (MMC.) I called the Montana Caregivers Network and talked to a really nice lady who told me she thinks I could be helped significantly by the use of medicinal marijuana. My doctor's appointment was set up for two days later. I faxed my medical records and two days later I spoke with the doctor who has given me more hope than I've had in a very long time. He asked me if I decided on medical marijuana because of previous marijuana use, whereupon I told him I have never used marijuana, that the only things I know about it are what I've read on the Internet. He asked if I've spoken to other medical marijuana users or caregivers (the people who grow marijuana for patients) about their experiences. I have read a lot of things about how to use cannabis and how to make tinctures, recipes for edibles, and the like, but I haven't talked to either those who grow marijuana for cardholders or someone who uses medicinal cannabis. I truly don't know if he believed me.
I was honestly shocked when he told me he believes I'd be a very good candidate for marijuana as medicine and said he would sign the form I need to submit to the state for my MMC. He also said I would probably find edibles and tinctures work better and that he encourages his patients to use them. He told me if I have any medical questions to call and he'd answer them.
I felt a spark of hope in the dark world of pain I've lived in for nearly 30 years.
As good as it is to have that glimmer of hope, I have to say this is still really hard for me. It's hard to say, "I need help and it seems no one is willing to help me get it," or, "I need something so serious that in many places it's actually breaking the law."
I have asked about other tests or for other treatments but those have been denied. The one request I am really shocked about having been denied is a morphine pump. A morphine pump is about the size of a hockey puck and would put very tiny amounts of morphine into my spinal fluid, dealing with the pain. AND I wouldn't have to take pain pills anymore! It would involve a short surgery and I would (hopefully) have less pain so I could have a life.
Instead, I am going to pursue the legal use of an illicit drug for the possible relief of the pain that has had me in bondage as far back as I can remember. I will chronicle my journey and experiences here for others to read so they can possibly understand they are not as alone as they might feel.
Using medical cannabis is a huge mental issue for me. I do not yet know why, but I will explore that here as well.
You are welcome to come along on my journey.
I don't have many secrets in my life and I am not ashamed to say I voted for the use of marijuana in a medical capacity. Having suffered through so many years with chronic pain and knowing how this pain has impacted my life, I wanted people in Montana (and the rest of the world) to have the relief brought by marijuana. Upon saying this please understand I have NEVER used illicit drugs. Never. I have been in the same room as someone smoking pot once, for about 30 seconds, and that is the extent of my personal experience with marijuana.
Last week I decided to ask another doctor for his opinion and possibly get him to sign the physician's statement to obtain my medicinal marijuana card (MMC.) I called the Montana Caregivers Network and talked to a really nice lady who told me she thinks I could be helped significantly by the use of medicinal marijuana. My doctor's appointment was set up for two days later. I faxed my medical records and two days later I spoke with the doctor who has given me more hope than I've had in a very long time. He asked me if I decided on medical marijuana because of previous marijuana use, whereupon I told him I have never used marijuana, that the only things I know about it are what I've read on the Internet. He asked if I've spoken to other medical marijuana users or caregivers (the people who grow marijuana for patients) about their experiences. I have read a lot of things about how to use cannabis and how to make tinctures, recipes for edibles, and the like, but I haven't talked to either those who grow marijuana for cardholders or someone who uses medicinal cannabis. I truly don't know if he believed me.
I was honestly shocked when he told me he believes I'd be a very good candidate for marijuana as medicine and said he would sign the form I need to submit to the state for my MMC. He also said I would probably find edibles and tinctures work better and that he encourages his patients to use them. He told me if I have any medical questions to call and he'd answer them.
I felt a spark of hope in the dark world of pain I've lived in for nearly 30 years.
As good as it is to have that glimmer of hope, I have to say this is still really hard for me. It's hard to say, "I need help and it seems no one is willing to help me get it," or, "I need something so serious that in many places it's actually breaking the law."
I have asked about other tests or for other treatments but those have been denied. The one request I am really shocked about having been denied is a morphine pump. A morphine pump is about the size of a hockey puck and would put very tiny amounts of morphine into my spinal fluid, dealing with the pain. AND I wouldn't have to take pain pills anymore! It would involve a short surgery and I would (hopefully) have less pain so I could have a life.
Instead, I am going to pursue the legal use of an illicit drug for the possible relief of the pain that has had me in bondage as far back as I can remember. I will chronicle my journey and experiences here for others to read so they can possibly understand they are not as alone as they might feel.
Using medical cannabis is a huge mental issue for me. I do not yet know why, but I will explore that here as well.
You are welcome to come along on my journey.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I've Tried to be a Good Pain Patient!
Lately I've been reading "The Pain Chronicles" by Melanie Thernstrom and I've learned a lot about pain. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who has pain or lives with someone who has pain. I recently read a chapter about being a good pain patient and I have tried to remember times when I might NOT have been a "good" pain patient. I couldn't come up with anything unless asking for different procedures or tests to find the cause of this pain constitutes being a BAD pain patient.
Having some medical background (former EMT, nursing student, and lifelong medical freak) I know how difficult it is for a doctor to take pain at face value unless there is some obvious injury. I think that's what kept me from seeking help in the first few years. My primary doctor, Dr. D., referred me to a doctor who specializes in rehabilitation and pain, Dr.P. What follows is something that occurred while I was seeing Dr.P for many years. After this incident I have struggled to find the point where I was a bad pain patient. Read on and I think you'll see why I say this.
I would see Dr. P, get my assignment for Physical Therapy (PT) or a new medication, increase in dosage, or some other treatment such as a TENS (transcutaneal electrical nerve stimulation) unit. I would call his office after a specified period of time to report to his nurse and set up an appointment.
At the time when this happened, I had been on opioids for a considerable time (at least a year, probably more like 3,) and I called to report on the dosage increase. I would also get my next appointment date and time, per usual. His nurse took my information, put me on hold (nothing new) and came back to the phone.
"When is my next appointment?"
"Just a moment..." she put me on hold again...
Nothing new - really - the lady who ran the appointment calendar could have been busy and she needed to address something else. I'm used to being put on hold in a doctor's office.
"Dawn? Dr.P. said he does not want to see you again."
My jaw dropped. "He what?"
"Dr.P doesn't want to see you again. He suggests you follow up with your primary doctor."
"Why won't he see me?"
"He didn't say. He just said he didn't want to see you again."
Now that I look back on this, it's like a junior-high-school boy (who has no balls) using some common female to break up with his girlfriend. Wow. I had the ULTIMATE respect for Dr.P until he wouldn't tell me WHY he wouldn't see me any longer. He didn't tell Dr.D either.
I'm shaking my head, thinking how I have gone NOWHERE since my appointments with Dr.P - - well, except the increase in my opioids that Dr.D won't increase anymore.
Is THIS the way to treat a pain patient?
Having some medical background (former EMT, nursing student, and lifelong medical freak) I know how difficult it is for a doctor to take pain at face value unless there is some obvious injury. I think that's what kept me from seeking help in the first few years. My primary doctor, Dr. D., referred me to a doctor who specializes in rehabilitation and pain, Dr.P. What follows is something that occurred while I was seeing Dr.P for many years. After this incident I have struggled to find the point where I was a bad pain patient. Read on and I think you'll see why I say this.
I would see Dr. P, get my assignment for Physical Therapy (PT) or a new medication, increase in dosage, or some other treatment such as a TENS (transcutaneal electrical nerve stimulation) unit. I would call his office after a specified period of time to report to his nurse and set up an appointment.
At the time when this happened, I had been on opioids for a considerable time (at least a year, probably more like 3,) and I called to report on the dosage increase. I would also get my next appointment date and time, per usual. His nurse took my information, put me on hold (nothing new) and came back to the phone.
"When is my next appointment?"
"Just a moment..." she put me on hold again...
Nothing new - really - the lady who ran the appointment calendar could have been busy and she needed to address something else. I'm used to being put on hold in a doctor's office.
"Dawn? Dr.P. said he does not want to see you again."
My jaw dropped. "He what?"
"Dr.P doesn't want to see you again. He suggests you follow up with your primary doctor."
"Why won't he see me?"
"He didn't say. He just said he didn't want to see you again."
Now that I look back on this, it's like a junior-high-school boy (who has no balls) using some common female to break up with his girlfriend. Wow. I had the ULTIMATE respect for Dr.P until he wouldn't tell me WHY he wouldn't see me any longer. He didn't tell Dr.D either.
I'm shaking my head, thinking how I have gone NOWHERE since my appointments with Dr.P - - well, except the increase in my opioids that Dr.D won't increase anymore.
Is THIS the way to treat a pain patient?
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