What a year this has been.

I collected signatures to decriminalize cannabis possession and use in Montana. That failed to make the ballot.

Then came the blitz to get the word out to vote Against SB-423. That, too, failed.

Patients are scared, and for good reason.

Judge Reynolds out of Helena will be hearing arguments on another injunction on the bad bill Jeff Essmann wrote. Mr. Essmann claims there is regulation in his bill but he cannot point to any. NONE. Using fear and paranoia (with a HUGE helping of ignorance and ego) he has succeeded in taking my medicine under SB-423.

The very medicine that has saved my life.

Patients - I do not understand why you won't come out and hold a sign! You can deny you are a cannabis patient, but REALLY? You'd rather live without your meds than hold a sign for a few hours? Than to collect signatures? Than to write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper or lawmaker?????

Honestly, I'm perplexed. You'd allow Cash Hyde to die because YOU are afraid someone might see you sticking up for what you believe? Because you don't want people to know you're on cannabis? Do you cast aspersions on potheads and castigate cannabis users when you depend upon it's qualities to have a normal life? You need to understand PEOPLE MAY DIE because of this and in a small way YOU ARE COMPLICIT.

And I want to apologize to the patients. I didn't fight hard enough. Some gave more than most. Some gave nothing at all.

And now we have nearly nothing to show for those efforts.

In October 2010 I had a difficult decision to make. I was counting my morphine tablets to see if I had enough to end my life, my pain, my suffering.

Then I remembered the article I saw in a newspaper insert on medical cannabis. I had nothing left to lose and did some investigating. What I found completely changed my stance on marijuana as a whole. That info also saved my life.

I sent for my medical cannabis card in December 2010, received it in January 2011, and tried cannabis for the first time in March 2011. Since I refuse to smoke it I had to make my own cannabutter. It was really good, very potent, but made my cookies taste TERRIBLE.  I was able to find a dispensary in another town that had many more edibles than I had anticipated. Candies, cookies, muffins… even main dishes and other tasty treats!

That interaction and those resulting from discovering this dispensary (that is now closed) has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I met a fantastic lady who uses her amazing knowledge base to refine cannabis oil so there’s no odor, no taste, and is wonderfully effective. The delivery mechanisms I’ve discovered because of her experiments have made all the difference in my life!

One year ago I stopped all the pharma I was taking. I was on morphine for pain, Effexor XR (antidepressant), klonopin, clonidine, flexeril, promethezine, Reglan, Tizanidine, and many others.  I stopped taking all these drugs COLD TURKEY and had no side effects or withdrawal symptoms. I WAS FREE!!!

Or so I’d hoped. Mere weeks after trying cannabis for the first time ever the DEA decided to raid dispensaries in Montana and my life was shaken. Not the place I went, I’d found dispensaries were safe places where compassionate people helped others. One could find any answer they needed from those who staffed these amazing places and I have learned so much from those who shared their knowledge with me.  For that I thank every one of you who have ever helped patients in any capacity!

How has my life changed? WELL, first, I have NEVER been high when using medical cannabis. I was on the anti-pot bandwagon but was nearly dead from the depression, physical pain, and so much more caused by mismanagement of my health by both myself and doctors. I was on super high doses of morphine – MORPHINE gives one a high, not cannabis in doses I take. Considering I spent well over a decade on super high doses of morphine (no pun intended but it sure works there) I should have ended up in the hospital but I wasn't even ill. Didn't vomit, didn't hallucinate, nothing.

Now I am off those drugs (there were about 14, up to 22) I go camping, hiking, I planted a garden for the first time in my adult life. I use cannabis daily to manage my pain, muscle cramps, depression, etc. and I have never felt better. I can ride in a car again - it was too painful to even go to church. I couldn't handle the teeniest of bumps on the roads of Montana.  My husband has his wife back and I have discovered how badly the government has lied to each of us. They've known since 1974 that cannabis kills cancerous cells but they have kept the truth from everyone and continue to claim no medical use. They have a PATENT on cannabinoids - the most healing part of the plant! Cash Hyde, a 3 year old boy has beat severe brain cancer TWICE because of cannabis oil. Lab tests PROVE the truth of this claim. I won't accept what the DEA and government tell me anymore. Did you know the government gives some patients cannabis cigarettes? Yep! There are federal patients who continue to receive this beneficial medicine FROM THE GOVERNMENT. Hypocrisy, plain and simple.

Do you know why cannabis is illegal? Look up Harry Anslinger. Did you know it was a medication for centuries? Prescribed to royalty and found in the tombs of kings in Egypt - there are hieroglyphs of cannabis on the walls of tombs. Did you know no one can overdose from cannabis? So far they suspect it would take 1500 grams to OD, but they say if someone smoked that much in the short period of time needed to cause harm that person would die from hypoxia, NOT overdose from cannabis. Did you know it is the safest substance known to man? Everything else can be toxic in some amount - water, oxygen, etc. but cannabis has incredible health benefits. Did you know it is routinely given to Moussad soldiers to prevent PTSD? True! Israeli scientists have proven it not only treats PTSD but if given soon enough after the event it can stop it right then.

Please - get an education on cannabis and the benefits. With the way health care is going in our country, we may all be growing our own medicine. You don't have to smoke it - I don't. I use tinctures, oils, edibles (tho not the magic brownie), capsules, and vaping. There are topical applications - one can use cannabis salves to prevent pain of arthritis and more and not have any active ingredients in the body.

Cannabis drivers have been shown to be safer drivers than those who haven't even had a drink or other drug. Yes, sober drivers are more dangerous than those on cannabis (for the most part.) I don't endorse toking & driving AT ALL but this is another thing hidden from you by the media and the government. Are you asking why you haven't seen this? Look who controls the media and how much money they stand to lose when people start getting more effective treatment from a plant they can grow themselves. Look at the other drugs that would be stopped (including alcohol and cigarettes) when someone starts using cannabis in a responsible manner. Drug overdose is at an epidemic proportion, yet cannabis has never killed a soul.

I know what I choose - I choose life, and a healthy one. I hope you find something in here that causes you to question. Your life will be better when you are educated as to the treason committed upon the people of the world and when you take charge of your health.

And our country needs more liberty - our rights are being systematically taken. I have the right to health and happiness and for the first time I have that!  Please DO NOT let anyone take that from me. I look forward to the time I have with my children and 7 grandchildren. They deserve someone in their life who isn't drugged up on morphine, who isn't a corpse in clothes sitting on the couch. Please realize this is LIFE SAVING for many and help tell the government where to go when they want to come in and take it away.

How do I write about this?

Every time I've sat down to write my story it gets away from me. It's so difficult not to be emotional about something so personal. I'm coming up on the one-year date I stopped all my meds (save Premarin) cold turkey and had no adverse effects.

Matter of fact, cannabis has given me more life than I thought a year ago! This past weekend my husband and I tilled a garden plot and I put together a lettuce garden I am so anxious to see succeed! I've never been good at caring for plants but the need to grow my own medicine has given me new lease on my black thumb and I am seeing a few good effects. I have non-GMO seed (try to find corn that's non-GMO - it's so difficult!) and we started Bokashi composting. I am hoping beyond hope I can learn enough to grow my own medicine soon.

As for my medical cannabis situation? I lost two caregivers - one in January and one last month. Took me MONTHS to get my card renewed because I couldn't find another doctor who would sign my statement. The one here said he wouldn't accept me as a patient into the MMJ program, but I am ALREADY IN THE PROGRAM. He wouldn't renew me.

But my doctor (who said he'd NEVER write a prescription or sign a recommendation) said I was a reasonable candidate and SIGNED!  I had tears of gratitude - still do sometimes.

So, now the garden is ready, I need to outline where everything is going and GET PLANTING! I'm apprehensive, but the thought of picking the corn and eating it RIGHT THEN is so exciting! My brother, cousins and I used to eat it straight from the garden while sitting IN the garden. My aunt wasn't too happy about that but I think it had more to do with ruining our dinner. Raw corn, still warm from the sun, nothing better!

Also getting the caravan ready for this summer. We've been going bonkers because we want to get out of town! Anyplace but here, really, but things are not yet open. You can make reservations for camp spots online through http://www.reserveamerica.com/camping/Montana/r/campgroundDirectoryList.do?contractCode=MT  We stayed at Wayfarer's State Park last summer and I highly recommend doing the online reservation! We will be doing it again this summer (different parks) because it is so convenient. If you want to do things with credit cards, this is perfect - pay before you go and never worry!

Getting to be time to medicate. I think I'll sit outside and enjoy a little sun with my medicine. I will be more thorough later - I have LOADS to post!